ABC Tag

ABC Tag
A - Available or single: Married!
B - Best friend: James
C - Cake or pie: Marble cake
D - Drink of choice: Water
E - Essential item you use everyday: Computer
F - Favorite color: Peach, from light to dark
G - Gummy bears or worms: Bears.
H - Hometown: Was born in Wichita KS, but raised in Valley Falls, KS
I - Indulgence: Chocolate.
J - January or February: Toss up
K - Kids & names: Krystyna, Erin, Jason, Michael, Brenden, James (LOL)
L - Life is incomplete without? My family
M - Marriage date: 11-13-98
N - Number of siblings: 1 sister, 2 brothers
O - Oranges or apples: Apples,Galas
P - Phobias or fears: Spiders
Q - Fave quote: Smile it makes people wonder what your up to.
R - Reasons to smile: My family
S - Season: Fall and Spring. All of them
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: Whoever wants to!
U - Unknown fact about me: I can't think of anything
V- Vegetable you don't like: Spinach
W - Worst habit: Making sound examples when I talk.
X - Xrays:Too many
Y - Your fave food: Lagsagna
Z - Zodiac sign: Sagitarious

Celeberity look alikes

Another picture of James and I together.

Here's me:


Here's James:

Who do I look like?

Different photo:

Selfish

That is my name.. and I have been extremely selfish. I know it, and I am sorry for it. I need to step back an evaluate what is important in my life. Is it my family, or STUFF? Will the stuff make me happy? Or will my being alone make me happy?

At any rate, I need to not be so selfish, and put my family first. IN ALL AREAS!! $$,happiness, home, etc.

I feel as if I am drifting away.. like I see what I am doing, but sometimes I just can't stop it. I need to refocus... or else I am going to lose it ALL!!

Lord, Please help me to refocus my life on you and your will for me and my family. Let me come back to the place where you were/are first in my life. Let me have my joy back at being a mom, wife, daughter, friend. Let me come broken to your and let you put me back together. Let me find and keep friends that are more uplifting in you. Let me stop being so selfish. I love my husband and my children, let me be able to show it in all areas. Thank you. amen

Venting

This last week the kids were gone to my parents house so they could attend VBX ( vacation Bible school). James and I got along just great, no fighting.. just spending time together. However last night as we were comming home.. not sure if it was just cuz he was tired or what.. but he started being a real Arse. I stopped the van and told him he either needed to stop the rude comments or he could drive. So he hasn't talked to me since.

It just didn't make any sense for us to have such a great week and then to have him start acting like that.

anyway.. I pretty sure it's cuz all the work he has to do and he was extremely tired.

Personality test Challenge

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Secrets: challenge

Ok.. taking a deep breath.

- I was sexually abused by my birth mom's boyfriends, and so was my brother. one of them even made him & I have sex together.

- I had oral sex with my brother one time after I was adopted.. he talked me into it. I was 10 or 11..and we were camping in a tent in the front yard.

- I used to sleep walk

- I was sexually abused by my female babysitters when I was little, and I still have moments where I find women attractive.

- I am a bipolar depressive.. when I am down I want to die, and let my family be happy without me.

- I have told my husband to just divorce me, that I would come and take care of the children and homeschool them while he was at work.. but they would still live with him. ( So far.. he hasnt' done it..Praise God!!) he must be a glutton for punishment.

-I have fantasies about other men ( mostly famous)


ok.. I know there are more.. but if you have read this.. ummmm still love me?

20 questions challenge

20 Questions
1. What is your middle name? Leann

2. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? What was his/her name? no.. books were my friends.

3. What is one thing you did that you never told your parents about? skipped out on the homecomming dance my Sophmore year.

4. What is your favorite bible verse and why? Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which stregthenth me." It reminds me that I am not alone.. HE is with me always.

5. If you could trade places with one of your friends for a day, who would it be? Why? I really don't know.. somedays I would like to Cleata, she did it right .. married her one and only... I would like to know what that is like.

6. Where would you shop if there was not a Walmart? Hmm.. maybe Kmart.. if there was one closer.

7. How many times do you go to the grocery store in a week? Maybe 2xs

8. If money was no object, what type of home would you live in, and where? I would live in a Log cabin style house, with a spiral staircase going to the second floor. It would be run on solar power/wind power/ w/a diesel generator.. run on biodiesl. Would have a garden tub w/jets in it. Hmm 5-6 bedrooms, school room, playroom, Dining room w/no TV, Family room with the only TV., Office room/Library. Maybe a covered pool? And it would be somewhere out in the middle of nowhere.. but only 30-40 minutes from a town big enough to have the grocery store, thrift store, hardware store.

9. What is your favorite quick breakfast? I don't really have one anymore.. maybe Breakfast burrito?

10. How many books have you read this year? No idea... I read everyday!

11. Do you share every aspect of your life with your nearest and dearest friend, or do you keep some in reserve? Well.. my nearest dearest friend shares every aspect with me. There is very little I can keep from him.

12. How do you like your coffee? Somtimes, and right now..I'm into Frappacino's

13. Do you drink your cold drinks with ice/ or no ice? Crushed Ice

14. Tanning oil, Sunscreen, or long sleeve shirt and hat? Sunscreen, when I remember to put it on..lol.

15. Your favorite : Drizzle,Light rain, strong thunderstorms, or hurricanes? Drizzle
16. What do you do to "wind" down in the evenings? Get online... or play games online

17. What is your "life song" that would describe your life right now? Right now.. the song that comes to mind is Amy Grants, "Hats"..One day I'm a mother, one day I'm a love, why do I have to wear.. so many Hats"

18. If your life was a novel what would be the title? Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

19. Would you rather be a public speaker, or an usher? usher

20. Do you go to a hair stylist and if so how much do you spend? IF I go.. between $14-17

Happy dance

I am doing the happy dance as one of my best friends and her family are comming for a visit! I can't wait.. however we have lots to do before they get here.. the house is trashed. So a cleaning I will go!!

Crunch Time

Well I am in a crunch with school, I have 2 monthes to get school finished or we can't sign up for the program next year. So I will have to scarce from the computer so that I can get it all done.

Busy, busy, busy.

Revelations

Lately I have felt like I was not being honored by my husband as he is always at work, and I felt like I was a single parent basically. It didnt' help that he was grumpy most of the time. However.. I was not honoring him by having a clean home for him come home to. It stress him out more when he can't walk into our room.. except through a path way. I have decied that if I honor him, than he will honor me. He spoils me.. lets me go out with my friends when I want/can. So he deserves a little more respect from me and the children.

So starting today I am spending time with extra deep cleaning.. and then be more dilligent to teach the kids the correct way to clean.

Revelation

Lately I have felt like the only parent in this family unit.. as James works so much. However as we were having an argument this weekend I realized.. while I might not feel like he is honoring me, or uplifing me. I am not honoring him, I am not providing a home that he feels welcome in. So this week I will be purging the house, esp our bedroom.. and trying better to keep it clean. I will spend 1 hour a day on a room in the house to get it deep cleaned.. then spend 20 minutes everyday to keep it that way.

That is my goal.. and any prayer support is welcome to help me achive it!!

Spring

I love spring..I really want to go and plant something.. only problem I don't really have a green thumb. With James working 7 days a week.. he doesn't have time to till up the garden area. But I am hoping that it will change I hope. If not maybe I'll have to get out there with some hoes and rakes and do it the old fashioned way.

Things that are bugging me.

1.Hubby having to work 7 days a week.
2. Kids not listening to me.
3. People who ask me if I have a job.. "real job".. umm I have 5 kids.. HELLO!'
4. Not having a place to do school.. as our table broke, and the other on is full of other stuff.
5.Not being able to have time to really talk to friends.
6. Feeling like I am all alone
7. feeling like I'm selfish for those feelings.
8. Not having time off from being mom
9. Not having time for scrapbooking
10. People being stupid.

New posts

I colored my hair about a week ago.. and have never gotten around to posting it. I was just trying to hightlight it.. but turned out more like I had colored most of it.LOL


Well right now I am looking forward to getting our tax return as dh has said we can get a new Bigger Fridge!! And possibly even a dishwasher (yeah!!) And of course pay off some bills.

I ordered a few items off of Lane Bryant yesterday and did defer payment and we can pay for it with our tax return. Found out I am wearing the wrong bra.. Should be wearing a size 38F but I am still wearing 40DD. No wonder there is no support. LOL.

Feelings

Over the last few weeks I have gone through a wide range of feelings. I felt violated when our van was busted into, disbelief that it happened to us, dispare when I realized all they got when they stole from us, tired from filling out all the paperwork involved.. and now I am just plan Pissed that I am the one places are going after to get their money. It doesn't matter that I had the bank send them back with signed affidavits that they were forged, these people just want their money.

It makes me want to scream.. I'm the victim!!! I didn't write these $1,000's of dollars of checks.. stop harrasing me!! I mean it took me over 2 weeks just to prove I was me so I could get a flippin drivers license.

Top all that crude off with being sick, and having everyone else sick too!! So for the past 3 weeks we have been just barely able to deal with life.


The only good news is my meds must be working as I haven't crawled under a rock yet.

Oh and the officer I am working with is awesome!! She has even given me her home phone number if I discover something and want to share it with her!! How cool is that!!

Crazy last few weeks

Jan. 27th The kids and I went to the Kansas Museum of History in Topeka and while we were there (between 9 am and 11:40 am) our van was broken into. They smashed in the drivers side window and took the kids christmas present from Mamma and Papa.. portable dvd player... the dvd in it.. my purse (which had my life in it.. ss cards, drivers licenses, digital camera, cell phone.. etc). So the last few weeks have been trying to get everything replaced.. oh and dealing with Forgery problems wit the bank ( they have been sooo helpful) The theifs have just had a blast.. speant over $5,000!! So it is a felony theft now. The cops were able to get a print off of one of the checks so maybe that will help out.

Today I was FINALLY able to get a new drivers license.. change my number too!!

Plus on top of everything everyone but James has been sick with a viral sore throat.. so crabby people here!!

So there is my update.. not very happy news.

Sad day for the Coops

Today we lost our beloved fur child Fuzzy one of our Guinea Pigs.. he has been with us for 2 years. He hadn't been acting right and I called the pet store yesterday and he suggested I wait for 24 hours before I call the vet. So this morning I woke up to him just laying still and "mewing" in pain.. I called the vet they suggest I get some gaterade and some white mineral oil to help him out.Thought he was just constipated or something. So we left to go and get the items.. took about 2 hours in all.. by the time we came back home.. it was too late. Fuzzy was gone. I knew I should have insisted on taking him in last night.. but I figured the people knew what they were talking about.


So tonight we will lay him to rest over by Eli (another fur child that passed on)..waiting on Dad to get home to dig the hole. I am very saddened by this as I picked Fuzzy out.. although they were presents for the children I still feel as though My heart has a hole in it.

Closet caper

As I was sitting in here on the phone to my "teacher" at the home office trying to figure out the loaner computer they gave me. I heard this THUD and the girls went running out of my room. The twins has decided to hide in the girls closet...and they TRIED to crawl up to the shelve in the closet.. needless to say my little junk shelve was pulled out of the closet.. out of the wall.. and all the girls clothes.. not to mention all of out T.P. is now all over the floor of the closet.

I am seeing RED!!!! And when daddy gets home.... I don't want to be around.. as he will be seeing RED!! So now we will have to fix the girls closet.. or just go buy some totes or something..I don't like the idea of folding up the girls dresses.. but we might have too for a while. AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tired

We went on a field trip yesterday so today everyone is draggin..so we watched the movie Apollo 13.. to tie in with going to the Cosmoshpere yesterday and seeing information on it.

Need to finish up the laundry and get busy on supper!!